Lately I’ve been so incredibly emotional. It’s like it’s finally sunk in that I am free of all the control, abuse, and manipulation. I’m not having to be a grown man’s mother, therapist, and maid. I don’t have to listen to a grown man complain, whine, or berate me over some perceived grievance. I don’tContinue reading “I’m Free”
Tag Archives: family
On Second Thought…
I’ve been thinking about what I wrote in my last post. I think that it’s not that I didn’t love myself, but maybe something much deeper. Before I met my now ex husband, I was very happy, independent, and genuinely looking forward to following my dreams and making the most of my life. I wasContinue reading “On Second Thought…”
Love Me?
Healing from my abuse journey has been long. It’s taken me far longer than I originally thought it would. As I work through each step and heal from it, a deeper level is revealed to me. Through it all has been an undercurrent of what I knew I would always have to get to- myContinue reading “Love Me?”
Fifty
Tomorrow is my fiftieth birthday. I don’t know how it got here so fast. There were supposed to be big plans, a trip, but all that fell apart. My friends got busy, my relationship ended, and I discovered he’s a narcissist. Definitely not the birthday I had thought it would be. Even with the disappointments,Continue reading “Fifty”
Lessons I’ve Learned Part 2
I have worked hard and been through a lot of pain and tears to learn these lessons. I have had to let go of a lot of my own control issues and the attachment I had to each partner. I’m still working on the attachment with the most recent one. He was the covert narcissistContinue reading “Lessons I’ve Learned Part 2”
Love and Loss
Loss: the fact or process of losing something or someone. I don’t know what else to do except write. I have a hard time vocalizing how I feel and writing is sometimes the only way I can get it out. My family lost one of our most precious members last week. She was kind, beautiful,Continue reading “Love and Loss”
It’s me
UPDATE: I wrote this post before I realized that the man I had been dating was actually a covert narcissist. He was cheating on me and extremely emotionally abusive during this time. When I go back and read this, I realize that my body was telling me to run because it knew I was inContinue reading “It’s me”
Joy Comes in the Morning
In just two days, my youngest will graduate high school. I don’t know how he went from my baby to a young man so fast. I keep joking that I’m not okay, but it’s true. I am not okay. These past few weeks have been very emotionally draining. There were so many lasts- the lastContinue reading “Joy Comes in the Morning”
Rest
In my quest for joy, I have discovered how much I long to just rest. I don’t mean that I need a nap or some deep breathing; I need emotional rest. I need the ability to just let go and have someone else be in charge. I am just so tired of always having toContinue reading “Rest”
2023
Finding joy and peace in my life has thus far been a balancing act of learning about and meeting my needs and still giving to, sharing with, and loving others. It’s been about finding that balance of having boundaries and still remembering that it’s my job as a child of God to show others grace and mercyContinue reading “2023”
Finding The Good 